he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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