remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
