I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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