If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
