Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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