I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
