I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just found puke in my bra..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
