We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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