dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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