she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
