Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize