Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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