I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
