spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
