Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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