Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize