Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
