i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
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He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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