i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
