Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
