It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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