no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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