i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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