Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
