she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
