WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
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Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
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Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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