She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize