Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
im on a boat
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