Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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