Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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