my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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