Kareoke will never be a sober sport
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
