Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You were trust falling into bushes
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