i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize