I'm so fucking centered right now
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize