obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.