is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.