She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
