bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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