im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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