they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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