Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
