he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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