he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How naked do you want me to be?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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