Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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