Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
