I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
