we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
worst night to have a conscience
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
