My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
