YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
