Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
