so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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