she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
