You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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