we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
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Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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