My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
