There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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