Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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