i think my tv is drunk
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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